In The Street

The Past couple days have been pretty eventful!  And just a lot of reflection:

 

I feel like i am being able to live out of a completely different healthy. Like I would SO much rather have difficult convos and be confronted about stuff and grow. Like the whole thing about being very intimate with few people is like a different world. Like we can love and be in relationship with many, but when you have a few people around you who are really focusing on: TRUST, COMMITMENT, BEING ALL IN, AND INTIMACY, there is a whole new world that opens up!!!  But it is just so much like letting all the ugly come out is so much better!!!! And accountability!!!!
 

And so much realizing that like "I" am nothing...i can do nothing, and striving is all just in complete vain. I feel like there have been so many lessons that the Lord is teaching, just a season of knowing something...but bringing it to a completely new level of truly understanding. Like "trust the Lord" ok yeah I have to trust the Lord, that makes sense...BUT NO!!!!! Like REALLY trust the Lord, what does it look like to REALLY TRUST the Lord....the Lord is bringing us all to a whole new level!!!!

It has been a little different now that Lauren has left....it is a little sad, because we were so different we were having our stuff come up all the time which was great.  It really was difficult a lot of the times, but it was so worth it, and then the revelation that would come that we would be able to talk about was like...life changing....but it was because we were fully committed to each other, we were truly ALL IN!!!! We lived out of a place of intimacy and we trusted each other.  We talked about EVERYTHING, like even why we were thinking the way we were thinking.  We would not let each other, leave conversation and we would talk through everything until we could exhaust it no longer.  Just seeing how this was truly life changing makes it be something that I understand is so worth fighting for.  I just love it so much...now again, like there were a lot of fights in there (as i am sure yall can understand) but wow, like we got to work through our junk and then pray for each other through our junk.  It was being so quick to understand that I am nothing without the Lord and being in a place where I can be very quick to be humble....through humility the Lord will work in unthinkable ways.

SO yes, i really miss Lauren and being challenged the way I was before.  But we have different seasons, and through our different season, come different lessons.  Like how God has brought Shelbye and I to be together.  We are very different, and come from very different places, and places of thinking...but that is so good!  

Something that the Lord has been teaching me here is just how when I am living without so much luxury, and living closer to the people who i want to minister to and love on, how it is so much easier, there is not as much gap... Like the other day we went out to spend time with the homeless. Well we dressed in our most non flashy outfit, took out all my jewelry, and brought nothing with me at all to go and sit with people. So we started walking by people and just asking if we could sit down and spend time with them. It was so so great, they did not think i was better than them at all, and one of the goals was for them to not think "I THOUGHT" i was better than them at all...because of course I am not.  Which is one of the most important things. I just loved it so much. Now lets just take a couple minutes to say that i did not understand 75% of what I heard from people over the course of the day (for reasons of not understanding their creole, or because they had a difficult time speaking...for different reasons) but it did not matter. My favorite part was when there was this woman and she asked me for money, I said I had nothing, and then we just talked for a little bit and she said we could pray with her and i just stood there holding this women for like 5 minutes telling her she was loved and it was gonna be ok.  It just reminded me of what we are supposed to be doing!  This women probably had not bathed in like a week, she was missing many of her teeth, but she just wanted someone to hold her, rub her back and tell her she was important!  It is such a different feeling when i literally don't have anything to give but my love, and that is the thing that people need the most, love. I think back to being at home and how it was so hard for me to get to the place of being able to go out and "minister" or walk outside my home and love on people....and goodness it is so much easier when we are positioned differently. Sorry that was A LOT of info, i hope it made sense what i was saying. I feel like i have so many thoughts going through my head right now, i am just kind of all over the place:)

But yeah those are the big things on my heart, deeper intimacy in relationship and understanding more about being like Jesus:) haha
 

So we also have been working on setting up for Count Me In Camp.  We are working on getting artists right now, we actually were sitting downtown Tuesday and saw a pastor that we know walk by....after talking for a few minutes we were telling him we were trying to get artists for the camp and he told us about this guy who is really famous and knows a lot of different artists...so we started walking there and as we got closer, i realized that...what I knew who he was telling us to go visit.  I just never knew he was like "a big deal" haha that is so funny, and so on the 28th he invited us to help out with a homeless event where they clothe and feed the homeless and have like 15 different artists who play music throughout the day. SO excited!!! So we will get to see who we want to ask to play for the camp. I think you would have so much fun!!!!

Ok so that is a big summary of my life and what the Lord is teaching me:)

So I totally forgot my camera to upload pictures today but I will try to add more in next time I am able to get to the internet! Love you!